Sunday, June 30, 2019

That thumping sound


That thumping sound
Date written: July 2019


-I-

The thunder and lightning raved on, along with a mind numbing and droning, rhythmic thud, as I stand before the window, still not entirely understanding where I am. I don’t dare to look behind me, scared of what I’d find. As I stand there, the music goes on uninterrupted in the background as if nothing is out of out the ordinary, as if I have nothing weird is happening whatsoever. The thumping bass goes on and on and on, almost in sync with the thunder rumbling above in the sky. Bright flashes of lightning light up the sky every once in a while, but are nothing in comparison to the rumble that goes on in the apartment in which I’ve been for the past… I don’t even know how long it’s been.

I hesitate to look over my shoulder, my hands are on the bars in front of the window. My eyes are still following the flashes in the sky which brighten up everything around me. Jesus, I’ve never seen a storm with lightning this often. Every other second the sky lights up and a rumble follows not far behind. But the storm doesn’t bother me… The constant musical, thumping sound does. I haven’t been able to get a moment of mental rest the past few minutes... hours… days? weeks?

What… what exactly have I been doing? And with whom? What the hell am I rambling about, I don’t even know where I am! I turn around slowly and look at the room I find myself in. The room is only slightly illuminated and I can’t see much of what’s going on. As the lightning and thunder make their presence through the window I am still standing in front of and the skylight in the ceiling, I can only rapidly see several people spread out throughout the room. Yet nobody’s moving.

“Hello?” I call out, but seconds pass and no response.

I look through the small apartment which has white undecorated walls. It is a small apartment with no separate bedrooms and only a small bathroom is what it looks like. The bathroom is to the left of me and has the door opened. I take a quick glance into it and flick the switch, just to see if I can find something of interest.

No dice, the light does not go on. I try to make out some stuff as soon as another lightning flash makes its way through the sky and into the apartment and I manage to find something lying on the floor in the door opening. I pick up what seems to be a small book, or a notepad or something. The pages are slightly wet, probably from the floor which I assume had some water on it. I open the book and flip through the pages, trying to find something interesting to read, which might explain a little bit more about what’s going on. I end up reading through one of the final entries:

“I’ve taken all the steps, I’ve done everything I’ve been asked for and still, no progress. Fuck, I’ve made all this effort and I’m still here. Seriously, how many times do I need to go through this shit until I can get out of here? I mean come on, I pressed all the buttons, I’ve listened to all the shit and I watched all the videos. Is that not enough? I thought that’s what had to be done, just be obedient and go along with whatever. Isn’t that usually the case in this kind of situations? No, I won’t look back. It is what it is, I did what I had to do. God this fucking music is killing me, I can’t think this way! Come on, what the fuck do I need to do to stop this shit!!!”

All the time, this constant beating, rythmic sound has been going on and on, making it almost impossible to think. Is it the same music as is written about in here? I mean… It is very hard to think with his constant pounding noise around...